Strange Lessons

I have learned some strange lessons in the last week or two. These likely only apply to me, but I’m putting them up here as kind of a “note to self” since the short-term memory loss is pretty bad and I’ll surely forget, otherwise.

1. Fioricet. I’ve tried nearly every migraine medication there is. For the most part, nothing helps. I used to occasionally take Midrin, but apparently it’s off the market. My neurologist had a suggestion: Fioricet. This is supposedly similiar to Midrin. All I really know is that Fioricet is composed of tylenol, caffeine… and barbituates. I guess the idea here is the tylenol helps with pain, the caffeine shrinks the blood vessels in the brain, and the barbituates make you not care that your head is about to explode.

What I’ve learned from my four day migraine & trial of Fioricet is a.) don’t take it more than  one day in a row, since the barbituates have something like a 36 hour half life. b.) don’t plan on walking since it will make you so dizzy you’ll be screaming for Rhiannon to bring you the nearest trash can if you do, c.) it really doesn’t help the migraine from hell that much, and d.) remember that 36 hour half life? That means you’re gonna have it in your system 72 hours.Take it more than 1 day in a row and it makes you want to toss your cookies & pretty damned stoned.

2. At that point where you’re ready to start looking for a gun to blow your brains out since that would hurt a lot less than the four day migraine from hell? Temporary relief IS available. Remember how you read a hundred years ago how soaking your feet in super hot water might help a headache, since it draws the blood away from the nearly-explosive head? Well, you’re already doing the Gerson therapy part-time, ie. occasionally. A quart of really warm coffee will stop the pain in less than 60 seconds. Granted, the effect is only temporary… just about as long as you can hold it. But something is better than nothing!

3. When you tear your rotator cuff in your shoulder, and the doc says it’s okay to stop using the sling so much, go slow. And work on slowly stretching out those super tight muscles in your shoulders & neck, or guess what? You’ll have another never-ending migraine.

4. Back to the Fioricet… if ya do something really stupid like take it more than one day in a row again, that epson salts bath that seemed like such a great idea will not be such a great idea since it will just make your even more pukey. Motion sickness in a bath tub. Just what you need!

5. Go get in bed & stop blogging from the tub! Sure, you’ve learned a thing or four, but is it really necessary to blog from the tub while clearly a lot dim-witted from the stupid Fioricet experiment?   NO!

(and yes, I DO have a very, very strange sense of humor)

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